I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
omg. why did you never tell me how amazing shitting and smoking is?
i thought this knowledge was automatically promulgated at the age of eighteen?
I woke up with the wrong plaid-shirted guy in my bed.
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
Birthday was great, I got entirely too drunk and made really poor life decisions. It was everything a birthday should be.
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
Ok maybe second best. He dated a stripper. Can't compete with that level of hoeness
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
Randomize
