I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
Slut skills are useful in every country.
He gave me a book last time I slept there. Im beginning to feel like a really weird hooker. Like instead of money he gives me random shit he has lying around. like hamburger buns
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
Nothing says "I mean business" like using a cart at the liquor store.
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
I could fuck to npr.
I just twinged a muscle in my shoulder trying to hug myself. In the world of loneliness-based injuries, this is a new low for me.
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
So apparently I’m into choking now
I just called my kid butt plug. Does that make me a bad mommy??
This may be the most diplomatic thing you've ever said
Randomize
