She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
I got tired of walking to the bathroom that I decided to throw up in a cup. I now have 3 cups full of vomit on top of my mini fridge
I gave him a handjob while watching the presidential address. Needless to say, it was weird.
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
I just brushed my teeth. In the car. With watered down Sprite. From Saturday. Multi-tasking at its finest.
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
I spent half an hours grinding with a drunk Harry Potter cosplayer at the con rave. Pretty sure I felt his wand.
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
There arew tilmes ina man's life when christmaas. THerew are times in a man's lfie when drunk texts from a bathrom hyufgirto. So, you know, merry chriastmans.
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
I'm not sure. I have to find the Greeks I was with last night and see if they can explain to me why I can't hear out of my right ear and why I look like I got the shit kicked out of me
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
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