apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
No, seriously, 1.5 gallons of sangria plus two days of untapped cock. Waiting here. For you.
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
Urine might work for jellyfish stings, but we found out it doesn't work well for nose bleeds...
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
I snapchatted him nudes and he didn't screenshot a single one of them because he's a gentleman.
I had to switch to male Siri because I could feel female Siri voice judging me for reading my sexts out loud. Also, the dude voice keeps me in the mood.
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
You'll never fully grasp an awkward walk of shame until you run into his mom while you're trying to sneak out. Then to make matters worse you have to ask her to mover car because it's blocking you in.
and I lost my effing shirt.
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