Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
Seriously. There are at least 10 other people drinking at the bar with me at 10:40. Im justifying it with the fact that I've been up since 5am.
The grocery store is a combo of ghetto ppl complaining that the low fat chips are all that's left and hipsters trying to eat organic during the hurricane
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
Because sadly the idea of me having a girlfriend is crazy enough to be an April fools prank
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
Is 10AM too early for pizza and Dr. Pepper?
Only if 5PM is too early to be drunk. And when has that ever stopped us?
sober me needs to have more faith in drunk me.
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
Randomize
