Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
if i get the "i'm engaged" text one more time, i'm going to shoot myself in the face so my cats won't eat it when i die alone.
So gin and wine won't be happening again
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
Circle jerk is a real thing. It looks like five innocent virgins in a closet at my brother's bar mitzvah. Yeah, I walked in on that.
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
Like, when both of your dads are drag queens you're bound to have some amazing Halloween makeup
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
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