brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
Someone sharpied 'shit show' on my tits. Someone with excellent penmanship
You totally left a blue butt print on our banister
Well I think we can all agree that that's better than then bowl of puke I left last time.
I made two strippers play rock paper scissors to see who would give me a lap dance last night
its like..once you have one emotional drunk night, you can't stop. i feel like i have to end every drunken night in tears and i dont think my roommates think it's heartwarming anymore
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
I made out with a girl because I wanted to get in the VIP section of the bar because they have these big comfy couches. It worked.
By far the fardest thing to do drunk is open a band aid
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
If I ever drink whiskey again make sure I don't eat the plastic cups that I'm drinking them from.
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
Randomize