some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
Randomize
