Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
Hold on. She's wrapped herself in toilet paper and is scaring the dog.
Too many margaritas?
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
You got called a pussy at a party with a slow cooker, you can't let that shit slide
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
You're never gonna guess who's blood is on my shirt
Why do I feel like I really don't want to hear the end of this...
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
Now that I'm sober I feel the need to tell you that I'm not really a fish whisperer....
Randomize
