i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
Even my Mr Clean Magic Eraser can't make last night disappear.
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
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This is sufficient.
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
You were sitting in the tub, clothed, squirting my KY all over yourself. You said "it's warm." then passed out.
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
true... I just kept thinking "THAT IS A PENIS. OMG THAT IS A PENIS. DOES HE KNOW IM STARRING? STOP LOOKING. OMG THIS IS AWKWARD. PENISSSSS"
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
He brought me hungover chipotle knowing full well he wasn't getting a blow job. I think he may be too in love with me.
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