ignore voicemail. the cock hath been unblocked.
My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
We should invent fake asshair for you to wear so you can experience my pain for a day.
Just once I'd like to throw a party where I don't have to clean up someone else's blood the next morning.
We never did figure out who the stuff on the wall came from, did we?
We're in the emergency room. He concussed himself trying to pop all the bubbles on my "one bubble a day" wall calender with his face.
I doubt she'll sponsor it. You know alcohol and fireworks don't mix, right?
It's okay. We're not going to soak the fireworks in alcohol. The alcohol is for drinking.
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
He said it was the classiest hand job he ever had because my nails were painted red. We need to go to nicer bars from now on.
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