Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
you called me at 4 in the morning to tell me that your toaster burnt your english muffin, and that you "fuckin hated that thing."
As I was driving her home she congratulated each and every deer we saw for making it through the first day of dear season.
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
You called yourself Captain Aspirin and then tried to cure my headache by shoving pills up my nose. Fuck you becoming a nurse, you can't take care of me while you're drunk ever again. Ever.
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
I've never been so tempted to check my phone during sex in my life.
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
I just smoked weed out of a tomahawk, then chased an armadillo with said tomahawk, I love my life.
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
Randomize
