i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
She started crying and told me to leave half way through, I'm walking down main with a bottle of patron and a sweatpants boner.
this better not be you asking for a beej
I just saw a dude sitting IN a bush, weeping and playing a harmonica. I hope your day is going better than his.
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
I know you're on a date and I should leave you alone but about twenty minutes ago I realized I haven't been spanked in years so if you're still looking for a birthday present, you know, consider it.
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
Just set the kids up with doughnuts downstairs so I could go up and masturbate uninterrupted. I am such a good mom.
I'm pretty sure the cop knew you were drunk when you tried to light your cigg with a chapstick.
Congratulations! We have a period
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