I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
I don't know why girls would even talk to someone as drunk as I was.
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
You dont lie about slip and slides
Dad and I are shitfaced screaming at Canadians in Walmart. Life is good.
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
CODE RED CODE RED MY VIBRATOR IS BROKEN THIS IS NOT A DRILL
THERE ARE NO EMOJIS TO SHOW MY SEXUAL FRUSTRATION
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
Randomize
