Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
I just had to google "How do I get semen stains off of drywall." I'm relatively proud of this
Also I feel like 60% of our relationship is based on sausage mcmuffins.
She has an emergency bra in her purse. I'm gonna check no on the 'introducing her to my new boyfriend' box.
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
One of my interns found me on Grindr. I'm really gonna make him earn the absurd amount of money I pay him.
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
he's fucking insane. he's worse than me. is that even possible? I'm only with him because his dick is huge. I need Jesus.
Randomize
