I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
Well, I woke up with a text message from my cab driver that said "I hope you're alive," so that's a good indicator of how I was acting last night.
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
Nothing says 'good morning' like waking up only to realize this chick was watching you sleep. She's crazy
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
We knew we were dealing with a pro when some random guy at the bar thew you over his shoulder and you still didn't spill your drink
Strangely enough, that's not the first time that's happened
I'm good. We walked you back to my apartment and you demanded to eat the sandwich I made for him
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
Randomize
