So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
there's a wings menu taped to my wall. don't tell me i don't have my priorities straight.
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
Breakfast tacos?
YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS
Oh and I guess I added our cab driver on Facebook. He has "liked" every single one of my beach pictures. Kill me now.
The maintenance guy says happy birthday. Also, he likes your penis balloon.
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
Can I use your baby to go shoplifting?
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
I just had a guy ask me if his "jewelry downstairs" would set off the metal detector.
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
I wanted to have a threesome but they’re TOO HETERO
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