i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
I'm making presurgery martini's. You need to be here.
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
Came so hard my ears popped. This lovely piece of news and pissin in my driveway brought to you by rum
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
I feel like I spent all day wearing underpants made entirely of poison ivy and sandpaper
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
After she got off the phone with her mom she sprinted down the block screaming "I'M SO GOOD AT BEING A HUMAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
Randomize