Take a Tylenol with a HUGE glass of water before you pass out, you'll thank me in the morning.
i dony have tylonal but i had a snickers and popcorn and a bottle of water and i am.. brushing my teeth!
Just threw up at the table during our Father's Day dinner. And I managed to get quite a bit on dad, so that was nice.
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
I'm sorry I tried putting my balls in your cup holder.
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
The moral of the story is do not hire me because everything will end up smelling like pickles and I will not sufficiently clean it up.
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
My sheer presence has sent the hipsters running in terror. I expect no problems.
It's all part of my master plan: have him buy me all I can eat pizza and all I can drink beer AND THEN tell him there was no spark and we're better off as friends.
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
Randomize