Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
I've been on the toilet for an hour. On a six day bender. My ass feels like its leaking vodka
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
I am a delicate flower. A fucked up, drunk, horny, pants pissing, delicate little flower.
I could tell my life story through kermit memes
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
I'M SO HIGH I FORGOT HOW TO EAT A STRAWBERRY. A FUCKING STRAWBERRY.
Randomize
