So, I'm pretty sure I just jacked off and my gf 17 m/o son caught me. IDK how long he was standing in the crib, but he definately saw the grand finale.
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
I literally paid him in shots to clean my entire apartment. he even vacuumed...who said alcoholism is a bad thing??
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
I really thought I'd be the only alcoholic drinking alone in my car at noon in the Lowe's parking lot. Passed out dude in the car next to me begs to differ.
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
Why is our fridge full of girl scout cookies and rum?
You told me to go grocery shopping.
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
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