sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
It's 10am, I'm at grocery store buying booze b/c the bf just told me that he didn't "technically" break up with his ex.
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
just used my amazon order history to figure out my anniversary. I am the most epic/shittiest bf ever...
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
Yesterday you said I was the best.
No. I said you DID your best. There's a huge difference.
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
I’ll call you later. There’s a jilted trophy wife looking for a revenge fuck at my door
Randomize
