why do my parents always seem to be having way more sex than i do?
you thought your tounge was "malfunctioning" because every time u spoke it wouldnt sit still.
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
As I am reading this. I'm standing in my underwear eating taquitos. I'm saying this in the most loving way possible: FUCK OFF.
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
Make me food? I don't want to be a science experiment. I'm dunk. Holy shit. Drunk*. Let's do science.
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
Randomize
