So I used to make fun of texas a lot, then I got here and I found a place where I could get my tequila in a to go cup with a straw and I realized that this is the only place I ever want to be
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
He was only in jail for 4 hours before he was someone's prison wife
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
I was masterbating to some porn on my phone and my mom decides to text me "are you okay?" I mean i was doing great until you cock blocked me mom..
Just once, I'd like to make it to my first wedding anniversary for a change.
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
There are only a few things more freaky than wandering around a zoo drunk.
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
Randomize
