They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
your brother just told me that Guinness is the first book of the Bible...
Ate pizza for the 3rd time today, can't decide if that's disgusting or an amazing aspect of American culture.
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
Last night you found an onion ring in your fries and then you started singing "A Moment like this"
I left the brick of cheese in your car! Keep it at Moderate Temp! It's my precious!
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
The man at the checkout said "Somebody's not fucking around".
It's gonna be a good night
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
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