how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
Do you think Tom Brady went home tonight and changed his facebook status to "pink with lace"?
Arguably, the best part was cockblocking those squirrels.
making my second box of kraft dinner for the day. thinking about telling him how much you cheat on him so that you end up having to spend valentines day with me. i'm sorry its every man for himself.
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
I woke up to a shattered My Little Pony garbage pail, a black eye I don't know how I got and no one will look me in the face. Fuck tequila.
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
The power of my boobs compel you
I may have passed out and puked all over the host's favorite couch, but three hours and a rip later, I was eating tiramisu in the bathtub with the birthday boy and a hot Italian.
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
Randomize
