This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
I wonder if there will ever be a day where I don't find lisps really really hilarious.
You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
after he fucked me and not his girlfriend, i told him to be a gentleman and close his eyes as i ran to the bathroom naked. so sweet.
your definition of "gentleman" is so absurd.
Walked by a shop giving away free donuts this morning. Best walk of shame ever
Im pretty sure he just said he wants to make a baby with me, but he's pretty shitfaced, so I'm not sure if he knows who I am.
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
Dad stumbling and puking in the White Castle parking lot = Father's Day success
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
My roommate randomally bought me two bags of pretzels. Worst "Sorry you can hear me fucking my boyfriend everynight" gift ever.
Randomize
