dude, I'm watching paul blart mall cop. I have better things to do than listen to you whine about your recent divorce.
My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
my bartender licked my nipple. never stay after hours
He chucked my pickle at the bouncer. Fucker, I wanted that.
A baby just tried to pull out his mom's huge tits at work today and nearly succeeded. I was silently cheering for the little guy.
I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
Why do I feel so obligated to masterbate just because I’m single and it’s valentines Day...
Jarrod's passed out on the chair with a cup of milk and I've been staring him down in an attempt to use telepathy to make him spill it. Attempts unsuccessful.
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
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