i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
Bad news. I lost my teeth. Good news. I can still take a guy home sans teeth.
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
I just interrupted this girl giving a dude head in a parked car on the south side. Going down on your guy while you're parked in front of your house because you don't want your parents catching you is fine by me, just don't block the fire hydrant.
for not the first time in my life, my clothes are covered in piss and i'm standing in line waiting to buy pedialyte at a convenience store
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
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