Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
Last night i was gna tell u about how i was watching project runway & how i was upset bc they replaced tim gunn & heidi klum. but then i realized that i was watching mythbusters.
True life - we need to smoke together more often
i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
You called me to pick you up from the bar at 9:00. When we drove over the speed bumps you put your hands in the air and pretended you were on a roller coaster.
Just sent my cousin to buy me a new bra cause mine is zip tied to a bar in the middle of nowhere Iowa
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
I'm eating chicken wings naked and hungover at 10am... Happy bday to me
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
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