Let's just have a brief moment of silence for my dignity before we start tonight
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
She just hopped out of the car at a red light to pet the baby Jesus in the nativity scene.
Not worth it.
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
Also the bouncer Straight up told me my id was shitty and I should get a new one. But he let me in anyways because #boobz
My dad just said "fuck circus"
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
I was on tinder the whole time I was waiting for my pregnancy test results at the doctors.
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
I just woke up with a cowboy hat on my face and a playboy from the 90s on my chest
Randomize
