I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
Either these are mashed potatoes in my pants, or I was drunker than I thought.
did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
I will now refer to my life as before and after I used Astroglide for the first time
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
my hip hurts so fuckin bad. and I just found a half eaten burrito in my nightstand drawer.
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
I just walked past a guy banging a chick in the back of his car.
how I know last night was a good night: this morning I found a bottle of tapatio, a bag of chicken and a bag of popcorn in my purse.
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
It's 7am. I'm making pizza & watching the Matrix. I will not be bothered.
To answer your next question, yes, I'm drunk.
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize
