Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
I just remembered Dan asking me all polite in the middle of sex "do you mind if I get behind you?" that was the most polite way I've been asked to do it doggy style
Remind me to tell you about the dream where im a fighting a super hero whose only weakness is sunkist.
How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
Best friends brother. Beat that.
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
I just spent an hour in the shower pretending I was a member of the b-52's. I can't go to work like this
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
Randomize
