its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
Reach down the front of your pants and feel around for a while. When you find your balls, leave the library and meet me at the bar.
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
I found a horn on the street but it's okay I disinfected it with vodka
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
We just set the fire alarm off with a fog machine. What's my first instinct? Finish my drink. I think I handled that correctly.
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
they set my background as his mugshot to remind me "having a big penis won't be a valid excuse in a court room."
is that a dick in a sweater?
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
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