Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
Is it wrong of me that I wish I could be a midget for a day so I can give head standing up?
Just ran interference for her again. Sometimes i wonder how many times in my life i'll have to be a cock block at the clinic
We got a Christmas tree, decorated it to surprise his wife And kids who were out of town for her father's funeral, then fucked like rabbits on their new mattress before he had to pick them up at the airport.
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
But you can't tell me I give the best blow jobs and then not break up with your girlfriend who has fucking TMJ! Come on!
I masturbated to my balding thirty-something co-worker last night. I am a new level of lonely.
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
I think I'm dead. Also I think I stole $20 from a stripper.
You did. Then gave it to me.
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
Randomize
