This dress was meant to end up on your floor
My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
So as I left the Australian's hotel room, I said "Welcome to America. You're going to do just fine here."
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time!
You know what a wolf looks like when it kills a small animal? How it shakes it around in it's mouth? I did that to a bag of Taco Bell last night
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
i think my cat just said my name.
Gramp just called her sex-on-a-stick. AKA HE CALLED HER A WHORE. My 75 year old grandfather just called your ex's new thing a whore.
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
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