This was baby jesus's way of getting you to wait until the next bikini wax
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
I'm experimenting with sincerity
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
My sex life reached a new low tonight: we stopped into this bar so I could pee and when I got out of the bathroom my parents had ordered a round for us and this traveling nurse they met and were trying to run game for me. Saddest part? She was actually going for it.
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
Randomize
