addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
Dating a girl 4 years younger than you is like living in a Taylor Swift song...
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
I don't care if there's a party or not. I just want to be half naked in a cape with a never-ending supply of alcohol within arm's length at all times. Make it happen.
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
It has been so long since I got any action that I have decided to change my vagina's name from "the chamber of judgement" to "the cave of forgotten dreams".
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
Dude, he danced with the dog that some random chick was carrying at the bar. Then the dog jumped out of his arms and ran away. THAT definitely deserves a drink.
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
Have you ever thought, hey maybe the reason we were togather that long was because I was drunk the whole relationship?
Randomize
