I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
I woke up covered in my own vomit with a pocket full of napkins. I guess I knew I would need them, but was not coherent enough to use them before passing out.
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
I forgot to tell you. Your neighbor was walking his tiny dog and saw me crawl out of my jeep drunk vomiting and holding onto my bumper. He just said: morning! all friendly.
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
Oh I see how it is...you can snap chat the world your balls but I wear dinosaur feetie pajamas and I'm the "weird one"
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
I had a dream last night that I used a condom when I had sex. That's how I knew it was a dream
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
I'm allotting you four buildings to piss on tonight. Choose wisely.
Randomize
