she lunged for my junk like it was the cure for swine flu
He dyes his hair, fake tans and lies constantly. What did you really expect from him?
A better fuck for starters.
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
yeah he couldn't walk in a straight line and started throwing up and told the cop he just has an astigmatism
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
Oh god. I just had a sex dream about the talking dog from the Bush's Baked Beans commercials.
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
Randomize
