So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
I made popcorn. Partly so the room doesn't smell like sex, and partly to apologize for the things you saw when you walked in...
I'm leaving my hospital band on when we go drinking tonight. I'm aiming for pity sex.
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
And then my hands went numb and no one believed me so I started putting peoples cigarettes out on them. Shitty idea i'll tell you that much
A guy just grabbed my balls before he shook my hand because he thought he knew me.
What's sexier than showing up smelling like fast food cigarettes with a jar of moonshine in your hand
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
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