The answer is no. Its an illegal search n seizure!
And then a tiny penis fell out of my purse
totally got the gold medal for the best fence jump when the cops came.
please don't call me when you're wasted. i don't feel like having any other future arguments at 3:18am about how to hang up your phone. you have a flip phone, you should know regardless of how fucked up you are.
I'm gonna stay in bed all day and watch porn in an attempt to stay warm.
I'm inventing beer flavored vodka. This raspberry shit makes me feel like a pussy.
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
We thought it was a good idea to send a picture to our HS science teacher where she's smoking a joint and I'm holding a monkey, and he invited us to lunch. NEW LEVEL UNLOCKED.
I can't. I'm not drunk enough for this information.
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
I just need you to stay far enough away that I can't smell your cologne. I completely forget that I fucking hate you as soon as I smell it.
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
Let's be real, he was never going to be tall enough
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