if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
Just farted in public and tried to sniff it all up before anyone noticed...do you think that actually works?
please keep texting me so i can pretend someone likes me
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
Dont act like I'm the only one that gets on a plane and picks out the one im gonna have fuck if we have time before the crash
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
I'm eating ramen over the toilet. Fuck my life
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
At least you didn’t announce to an entire bar you’ve eaten pussy, and then knocked your beer over.
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
It's very disconcerting to wake up and she is gone. I never know where she could be. It's like playing wheres Waldo but Waldo could potentially be drunk and wandering around in weird places that normal Waldo's don't go.
Randomize
