would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
the guy at the pet shop just had an eye seizure while looking at my chest
Last night when I was hammered I set a reminder to tell you that your boobs are my favorite ones in the world, so this is me giving you that message.
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
Post-sex chicken soup was such a good idea. It's been like an hour and I'm still applauding myself
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
idk how I feel so profoundly understood by someone whose latest tweet is "labia majora's mask." but I do.
My bail money is reserved for people I either A, think were in the right, or B, have an awesome story that leads up to needing it. Just remember that before you call me.
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
Randomize
