I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
I just had a contest with the toilet to see who could hold their breath longest.
I won
Dude, on the way home the cab driver asked why you didn't bring a guy home and referred to you as "one night stand girl"
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
Randomize
