Well apparently he's into motor boating.
OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
the best part about watching a meteor shower at 4 am is being able to masturbate in public and drink hot chocolate at the same time.
Call me in 2 minutes and go along with what I say. You're hysterical and I must go comfort you asap. He just asked if I was ready to experience sex with a wizard and he wasnt kidding.
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
when you tell me you got me a birthday present, I have to assume it will show up in a drug test.
The doctor told me if I woke up with a broken foot and don't know how it happened, I might want to look into getting treatment.
Sex on the scooter in the parking lot wasn't the smartest idea. Actual quote from the cop as he handed me the ticket and fist bumped me.
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
idk what to be more embarrassed/confused about, that i lost my underwear or that i woke up covered in fried rice
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
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