Making out with married ex girlfriends: priceless
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
Ah that type of Dick. I think my phones trying to make me less of a whore by capitalizing Dick. That way it looks like I'm talking about a dude not penis
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
I was gonna start crying but as he was asking me for my info i saw him eyeing my rack. So I sorta started pushing them together. He asked me to get out of the car he made me turn around so he could check me out and then he said and I quote "okay ma'am. Everything is fine, I'm going to let you off with a warning. Next time if you're not wearing yoga pants you might not be as lucky" I am blessed.
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
You sending me our unborn, unfertilized babies' names is not what I envisioned when you said you'd "drunk text me later".
Randomize
