I wish I could teleport
well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
I just had sex in the back of an ambulance. Call me.
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
So his 25th anniversary post of love to his wife was almost verbatim what he said to me last week. Does that mean I win or lose?
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
New holiday tradition. Eat all the Xanax in the am, then wake up later after festivities and eat all the leftovers
Randomize
