Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
Someone took a freaking dump on a roll of toilet paper. Next to the toilet. No shit in the toilet. Just on the roll of toilet paper.
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
He fell and asked for a beer and a band-aid.
HE GOT FOURTEEN STICHES
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
Dave used his AAA card to get my car towed to my house so I could get drunk. Evil genius.
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
True friends don't judge, they just try to have more booty calls than you do.
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
WHAT THE FUCK I JUST PULLED TWO TAMPONS OUT OF MY VAGINA. WHERE DID THE OTHER ONE COME FROM??
....surprise!
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
Randomize
