I might get fired at work today. I had to prioritize. It's not my fault Cockasaurus came over.
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack
I am broke enough to accept it. If I get poisoned, you can have my shoes
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
Mom got high last night and started crying because she feels bad for Paula Deen. This is my family.
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
so i was about to call you for your birthday but then i started making out with this guy... and i feel bad but i felt like you'd understand
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
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