I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
no more duck duck goose at the bar
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
he looked at me and said 'happiness is a warm blanket' then stole my vodka.
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
There is eyeliner on my toilet. Vodka and I have a love hate relationship.
I have a burn on my hand, I'm covered in bruises, I think my toe is broken, and I have no clothes to wear home.
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
Randomize
