I'm not a mortal combat character
but my vagina is
Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
I just used cruise control in a 25 zone. When will this hangover end???
Every single person in NY is either baking, drinking, or photographing their cat. Reporting live from Instagram.
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
I was so drunk, he put me to bed and went down stairs to hang out with his friends. Apparently, I was curled up in the closet, spooning the dresser when he came back up.
I'm doing my accounting homework with my vibrator. Guess whose numbers are balanced on the financial statement? This ladys!
The streets are paved with hand jobs
Randomize
