i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
I'm going to fuck my way out of the friend zone if its the last thing I do
I had a great time except for the part where you called another guy, told him you were in a cab - not on a date - and that you'd meet him at a bar in 15 minutes. but besides that it was awesome. Next time capping you at two glasses of wine
I just mistook cooking oil for the whiskey that was also on the counter... They're the same colour. That was not a good shot... I need to not drink alone.
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
The Vicodin is in the strawberries.
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
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