the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
I miss seeing your mom and dad at church, well mostly just your mom... She used to hug my face into her boobs.
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
my tonsil wound opened up during the kegstand but i stopped it with a popsicle
Exactly, finding that perfect flask to come with you on all your adventures is like finding the perfect wedding dress. You have to feel it.
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
Seriously? You DON'T remember putting all those Swedish fish in the waffle iron b/c you wanted "One big Swedish fish?" That waffle iron was a wedding gift.
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
i'm pretty sure you can't sue someone for "Taking a shit on my kitchen floor."
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
The creeper at the bar just realized we have the same birthday and bought me four beers already. He walked off so I took his change and dashed, i'm bringing the case over now.
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
Randomize
