How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
i dedicated my morning wood to you.
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
I'm sorry I dragged a dildo (on a leash) into your room last night.
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
If I give you a key to my place you have to promise to one day wake me up with a blowjob.
And by one day I mean once every two weeks.
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
"just because you look like a short version of scarlet johanson does not mean I would immediately fuck you" that was the single.most difficult thing to say. but seriously I don't want the roots of the whore tree anywhere near my junk.
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
I already plan to donate my brain to science so they can attempt to fully understand the complexities of my existence
Every text my dad sends me is an AA mantra. Might be time to take a look at my life.
So I ended the trip with two cold sores, poison ivy on my leg and vagina, and no alcohol or weed. WORST. 4TH. OF. JULY. EVER.
Randomize
