Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
I wish I could rewind to my 8th birthday instead. I wanna wake up, eat as much cake as I want, and have a Transformers birthday party without someone judging me.
As girls, Bert & Ernie are not very bangable costumes. At least not by who we'd want to get banged by.
I was kidding. But I promise you I'd still find us the most eligible bangables, even if we dressed up like a dumpster and a prom night baby.
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
If you had been home 20 minutes ago, you probably would've caught me masturbating, so it might be for the best.
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
He wouldn’t know a good thing if it bit him on the ass. Which, btw, I did.
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