I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
So there I was praying he didn't go limp again, choking on a long, long gray ball hair. This is my Saturday night. This. Is. My. Life.
just filed my taxes drunk as balls. i may be going to jail.
True. On an unrelated note I helped post bail for both of our ex girlfriends last night. Russian roulette: guess which one is pregnant?
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
Omg. I'm making you a chocolate and "herb" birthday cake and using joints for candles. I'm gunna need moms help with this!
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
Yeah, I'm pretty glad I chose you to have drunken, sloppy birthday sex with.
That's the nicest thing anyone has ever said to me
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