the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
well let's see. after you forcefully shoved a half-eaten apple in my mouth, you ruined the pepsi by dumping an entire beer in there.
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
Turns out lunch break sex with someone you cant stand being around for any amount of time just makes you wish you had gone to get tacos like you originally planed.
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch
He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
you are singlehandedly the most cursed object the universe ever conceived
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
I put the child locks on after I put you in the car and you then screamed, "I am a Phoenix, you can't restrain me. I NEED TO FLY!"
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