I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
you spent 5 minutes trying to open an empty PBR and kept saying "don't worry i'll get it i've been working out"
I got spanked with a cardboard tube. Apparently he used to be a percussionist. Who favored marching band tunes. It was weird.
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out.
If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week.
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
Dude. I've been high for so many hours now that I'm just accepting this as my new reality.
She said she was hoping I'd be hotter. I told her I didn't see anybody standing in line to titty fuck her either. She was a great kisser.
I just put poptarts in the toaster with the wrapper on, that's how hungover I am.
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
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