i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
Walk-of-shaming home from Brooklyn in a Jesus costume that has "what wouldn't Jesus do" written on the robe.
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
i preemptively threaten to cock slap your kids if they are snobby yuppy bitches
I had to have my mom pick me up from the party and the windows lock was on so when I went to projectile vomit out the window it wouldn't roll down and it splashed back at my face.
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
Plan: drunk dancing. Reality: drunk almost getting in fights with people that could beat me into the ground.
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
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