We played Rock, Paper, Scissors last night to see who was the least drunk to drive.
The Rock won.
i was so drunk that i ate a carrot out of her guiena pig's cage and thought it was normal
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
My family will be here in an hour and I'm deciding between doing my makeup or saying fuck it and wearing what's left of last night's...
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
And that's the fourth pair of yoga pants with unwashable stains from you.
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
Whenever I'm hungover I try to stay in public as much as possible, hoping to be a cautionary tale to children. It's a public service, really.
I feel like at this point in my life I should be dating someone who doesn't run out of all his money on Mondays and have to wait til fridy to buy his weed
My roommate told me he found me naked in the shower puking and when he asked why I was naked I said "you can't wear clothes in a shower"
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
Randomize