you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
it seems as if every mistake i've ever made in life i've had an errection in one hand and a bud light in the other
Just took my pill on time for two days in a row. I deserve a prize.
Not having phil's child is good enough.
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
Santa brought me a 1.75 of wine, and a liter of patron. I probably won't remember Christmas, so don't ask me how it was tomorrow.
Never use fire and ice condoms with a dude who always claims he "didn't know it was the wrong hole"
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
Things you Cant unsee: When your smartphone syncs to your dads laptop and downloads photos...including his porn stash.
me + whiskey = a bad person
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
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