jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
She threw up on me during morning sex and now Im pretty sure I just saw a woman die at 7-eleven. This is way too much for a Monday morning
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
I am not apologizing for rubbing my balls on your leg...that is a risk you take when you come out to the bar with me
new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
Apparently im getting a reputation for how i mix drinks. Im the midas of booze. Everything i touch turns to koolaid.
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
We got Pizza Hut & Papa Johns, delivered within seconds of each other, and both delivery people did a shot. I was put on Earth for this moment.
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
Randomize
