Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
Coffee flavored vodka sounded like such a good idea at the time. Now i never want to drink coffee again.
sarcasm needs its own font
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
Life just isn't the same without him waking me up at 4 in the afternoon with a look of pity on his face...
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
Go christen that room with your naked body.
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
Fair warning: I will be throwing corn dogs at you every time I see you this week.
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
When your grandma invites you to a sweet girls' Valentine's dinner with your mom and sister, but you have to decline because you're trying to get two dudes to rail you at once...
Randomize
