Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
38 yer olds are good kisserssss
I wish the iPhone would register texts from 11:59 as "Last Year" instead of "Yesterday."
You should have seen her outfit yesterday. It was like pretty woman before Richard Gere gave her money to buy a new outfit.
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
I knew I was in the wrong bar when "I have a daughter your age" was some random's pick up line.
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
Let's be real. I'm the Usain Bolt of running away after hookups. Fastest (wo)man alive.
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
She wanted to get out of there before you guys woke up so she wouldn't let me find my underwear. Lol So I apologize to whoever finds that in your room.
Randomize
