I am slurping my drink like I am going to the electric chair
Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
woke up to a case of keystone on my porch when I went to bed at seven that morning.. I think it's someone's peace offering for getting my roommates car towed
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
You should come over tomorrow. Wine, pizza and my vagina. Those are all great things.
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
You said "I feel like a koala bear. Do you ever just feel like a koala bear?" This is your brain on drugs.
On a scale of 1-10 I’m at biblical violence
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
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