Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
my dad just told me that a lesbian kissed my mom at a bar last year
Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
so that guy from last night texted me saying i flashed half of my extended family last night. so classy.
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
You asked my mom "who the fuck drives four hours to sleep in a guys bed and not touch his penis"
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
fries before guys. food before dudes. shakes before dates. chips before dicks. lemon bars before football stars. macaroni before screwin' tony. what i'm saying is please come to ladies' night
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
When your job has killed your spirit to the point that you don't want to flirt with the cute, tall guy at Enterprise
GIRL PLEASE. GO BACK AND POP THE TITTY OUT
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
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